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Posts Tagged ‘it all just comes flooding out’

Bonjour, Parlez-vous Franglais?

September 24, 2010 5 comments

You can’t run away from your problems. I mean, sure – you can run away from things like the fuckwits at the DWP or the various bailiffs, but real troubles, REAL troubles. They’re the things that sit heavily in your heart and mind. They press upon your soul. You carry them with you always and you can’t run away from them. Read more…

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Me and Mrs Peeling

August 2, 2010 4 comments

I was sat in the garden with my mother, Mrs Teresa Peeling. Yes, say it out loud. Teresa Peeling. The Trees are peeling. Laugh it up, I’m grateful. When she divorced my father, she was wooed by a guy named Green. So I’m glad she married Mr Peeling. Read more…

Sex and Semantics

July 10, 2010 Leave a comment

So I had to do this off the cuff blog due to a ‘discussion’ on Twitter over the semantics of sex. According to said person, ‘making love’ sounds twee and makes their skin crawl. That is not how I see it. As you know, I used to be a chef and food is a big part of my life. The reason I mention this now is because what I am about to say is explained by food, so we can all get along.

The way I see it, the act of fornication can be put in three categories (good, bad and embarrassing HAHAHAH I am SO Carrie fucking whatsersexandthecityname!)

Fucking.

Having Sex.

Making Love.

and this is how it breaks down… Read more…

OTC/OTT

July 1, 2010 1 comment

A copy and pasting of some tweets I did the other night. When I was a kid, I would have a bath and when it came to washing my hair I would take a lid and pour tiny bits of EVERY shampoo, soap, conditioner, gel and hair product within reach. I even managed a little bit of dye once. The theory was, if this stuff was supposed to be good for your hair, then ALL OF IT TOGETHER would be EXCELLENT for your hair!
With this sort of mindset already in place, having an emotional trough night as well as being besieged by aches, pains, dodgy sinus troubles, sore throats, etc etc I decided that instead of popping a couple of tablets, I’d take a total of 7 – one for each specific ailment.
Now, these are simple everyday, over the counter medication. Admittedly, the pain killers were cocodamol and the sinus tablets were extra strength syndol stuff. I’m no junky and I’m no *complete* idiot. I figure as few as seven can’t hurt you that bad. Turns out if you mix them in a person who already has a chemically affected system, it makes for odd tweets.
Here are those tweets. Repeated in order and with no changes anywhere. I have bulletpointed them only to show their original tweetality. Read more…