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A copy and pasting of some tweets I did the other night. When I was a kid, I would have a bath and when it came to washing my hair I would take a lid and pour tiny bits of EVERY shampoo, soap, conditioner, gel and hair product within reach. I even managed a little bit of dye once. The theory was, if this stuff was supposed to be good for your hair, then ALL OF IT TOGETHER would be EXCELLENT for your hair!
With this sort of mindset already in place, having an emotional trough night as well as being besieged by aches, pains, dodgy sinus troubles, sore throats, etc etc I decided that instead of popping a couple of tablets, I’d take a total of 7 – one for each specific ailment.
Now, these are simple everyday, over the counter medication. Admittedly, the pain killers were cocodamol and the sinus tablets were extra strength syndol stuff. I’m no junky and I’m no *complete* idiot. I figure as few as seven can’t hurt you that bad. Turns out if you mix them in a person who already has a chemically affected system, it makes for odd tweets.
Here are those tweets. Repeated in order and with no changes anywhere. I have bulletpointed them only to show their original tweetality.
  • it all gets a bit scary when the people you look up to as your pillars of strength start to shake. tonight is not a good night.
  • I laughs my head from side to side when she said ‘don’t be stupid’. It was a funny idea which made sense – I was hurting in so many ways.
  • so I figure, one tablet can’t cure ALL right? But this one is good for THIS ailment. This one is good for this AILMENT. bAHAH, clever like
  • clever like… a foxing fuck is what I am. I’m no killer (maybe of hearts, ohyeahbaby) I ain’t trying to kick the stool out from under me.
  • I just figure (eight, skate, speech – it out yeah) that 1 can take one pill for each hurty thing, I get better oh yeah? Makes sense to me.
  • Cause and effect. Attack and decay. The Kid and The Play. So I fall asleep. Funny saying ‘fall asleep’. usually you’re already laying down
  • so how you gonna fall, yo? sure, you can fall off. You can fall out. you can even fall in love. I’d recommend it. But I wouldn’t advise it.
  • So I sleep and the dreams are VIVID. like the first time I tried smoking crack as a 15yr old in a field in Lincolnshire. I still remember!
  • It was COLD in my mouth. Only this time the dreams were RED and meaty. Not cold and BLUE. And I wake up, and I really did fall asleep.
  • I know this because I was sitting upright on the sofa. I blinked *blink blink* you know how to blink, right? You just wink in tandem, kid.
  • and when the blink was over, I was laying on the floor and I was fighting my eyes to stay open. Damn kids today. No stamina.
  • Back when I was a kid, I blinked all the time. Like damn ocular push-ups. Now they close their ummm EYES and they stay closed. *gigglesnort*
  • I wrote “blinked all the time” 4 times because I tried it with my eyes closed. But I digress. I fought against myself, but I wanted to lose
  • and I looked to you, oh internet for a guide to what I lost. I lost two hours. Struggling to my feet, I work my way to the kitschen
  • Walls are useful. They keep the roof up and they can guide you. They are strict though. I wouldn’t say uncaring, but they do not mollycoddle
  • Their cold strength guided me to the place of nice smells and steam cookers. I opened my mouth and let 1.8 litres of water slide down easy.
  • 1.8? Who is this nut to be so precise in his ramblings? Yeah? Unfollow me, disbelieve me, love me, hate me = but doubt me?! HA! YOU LOSE.
  • I was drinking out of a damn JUG yeah?! Can’t get no more precise than that BWAHAHAHA. Don’t bet on a game unless you already know the score
  • So I stagger back. Doorframes are not as helpful as walls. There was stubbery. I see friends disappearing and loved ones crying and it is NO
  • but shouting achieves nothing in this house other than to wake your friend and housemate and scare the cat. I do it anyway.
  • My mind is still a little fuggy. But at this point I don’t care (also *SNIFFSNIFF* my sinuses are CLEAR, dudes) because I want to shout
  • and scream and rage against the night. or the machine? I was shouting at the window AND the laptop: technically (5.75 by the Ukranian judge)
  • I was doing both. Double the pleasure, Double the fun. I come to find people I love all wobbly and I wish I was more compos to sort you out.
  • All I can do is a little misdirection. A little sleight of hand. I am wearing a tshirt, so there is nothing up my sleeves… I made you look
  • and whilst you are scratching your head thinking – why is he flooding my page with inanity and legally obtained druggage ramblings?
  • I have distracted you momentarily from the things you yourselves were feeling iffy about. It’s a gift. ha cha cha cha.
  • I myself am very distracted. I think I had something planned to say. um. “it’s better to burn out…. than to fade AWAY!” tell that to Joan
  • poor girl believed in God. He believed in her. Bit of a douche really – could have warned her wearing trous would get her killed in the end
  • Proper cuntish behaviour really. Still, if there’s one thing that history has taught us, it’s that things happened yesterday.
  • Tomorrow things will be different. I’m not just talking about the date either. I will be ‘with it’ and I shall gladly pretend none of this
  • happened, it was all a shared hallucination. A gas cloud emanating from Myanus shone off the sun shining out of my pooter should do it.
  • Shurely theresh shome mishtake, offisher? Oh… yesh. Fucking nodding dog. Still, he pays my rent. And you know what else is annoying?
  • Not just when someone changes direction mid-tweet, but when they stop tweeting all together mid-tweet. It’s kind of rude I know but hey –
  1. July 10, 2010 at 12:26

    i like these hazy cramblings.

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