Home > Essays > Let’s do this right.

Let’s do this right.

It has been nearly a year since I cracked open this blog and I have done nothing with it. Such is my life at the minute. For pretty much one whole year now I have been without a job. I don’t think I need to get into details in this post (maybe at a later date) but everything was falling in on me and I buckled and broke.

I want to work again, I am not a lazy slacker nor enjoying the life of a sofa bum, because I have had some kind of job since I was 13 and it doesn’t feel right to be doing nothing. The problem is, the job I’m actually very good at, and use to enjoy, is the job that broke me and the job I now fear. You see, I used to work in the hospitality trade and when I say I worked in the trade, I have done pretty much everything you can think of from hotel reception, chef, doorman, cellar man, pot wash, bar manager, promotions and anything else you can think of. I’ve been doing it since I can remember. Hell – I grew up in the trade!

It is not an easy life. I have seen relationships crumble (my own parents for once) I have seen good people turn bad, I have made friends, lovers and enemies and I have, for the most part, enjoyed it. I love the variety and the challenges, the fact that when you are talking to customers, it is entertainment and a big show. For an old luvvie like me it was great to be putting on a show for people and seeing them enjoy it too. People would say to me “hey, you look like you really enjoy your work” and I could tell them honestly, YES. Yes I DO. and I did, too.

But now… now I freeze up when I think about it. Even writing about it like this is hard because I don’t know if I can ever go back to it and because it hurt me so much. The practical part of me says to get back on the horse and go for it again, but in my heart, I don’t know if I can.

Which leaves me here. Jobless and blogging and really unsure which direction to turn. But that’s really up to me to sort out, not you (unless you live in Scotland and know of a pub/bar looking for staff – ideally a live-in position in which case mail me a number please!)  isn’t it? At the end of the day, the best help that someone can give you is not to do it FOR you, but to help you DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

So what I WOULD like some help with is collaboration. You see, I am great at coming up with ideas for stories, comedy skits, comic books etc and I can throw down a dozen outlines just like that but when it comes to fleshing things out? Meh.  Actually, you know what? I’ll do a seperate blog on this later. A plea to the twitterverse for someone to bounce ideas off of. I had someone good for that but she kind of fucked off which is the way it goes. And so it goes.

See you later.

Categories: Essays
  1. AuroraElisabeth
    April 23, 2010 at 10:41

    Hi! Well first of all we have choosen the same layout of the blog page and I think we opened a blog for the same reasons,well I opened it this week,but I’ll update it soon with more material! check it if you like it http://auroraelisabeth.wordpress.com

    You are always welcome!

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